Saturday, October 9, 2010

Obladi, oblada, life goes on brah. :)

Kinda my theme song right now. I love The Beatles. (:

Ugh, things are kinda crazy right now. On the exterior, everything's amazing. I'm doing tons of awesome things, I have the best people for me in my life right now, and things are just fun. I have lots to look forward to this month (Homecoming, football games, tournaments, Field of Screams, concerts, Spirit Week, spending the day at LMH, lifegroups, etc...) which makes me happy. I feel like I'm closer than ever with all my friends, and we're having a good time. :D

But on the interior, I'm so....preoccupied. My mind's everywhere, thinking about everything lately. My grandma who I love dearly, is gonna go through open-heart surgery. She having like, 6 different things done to her heart, and I am scared to death. We're coming around a year anniversary of Aunt Edna's passing, and if my family was to loose my grandma, my world will just be shattered. Our family physically can't handle another death to someone so incredibly close to us. It would pretty much just tear us apart, to be honest. She's like the glue that keeps us all together. And the fact that her heart is gonna be exposed for about 6 hours in surgery, very challenging and so fricken' easy to screw up surgery, frightens me. This coming Wednesday, 6:30 in the morning. She is 88 years old, btw. Please, please pray for her. ):

Also, I've been thinking about my mom lately. My real mom. For those of you who don't know, I was adopted when I was like, one from Paraguay. I've never known my birth mom, or her boyfriend (I guess that makes him my dad). My sister's adopted too, but from a different family, different part of Paraguay. She has contact with her family, or at least her sister and her brother. They look soooo much like her, it's crazy. They're not super close, but atleast they've met and know that each other freaking exist. I'm not trying to make this sound sad or pathetic, and I definitely don't want "Awhh, Alicia I'm sorry!" pity from anyone. I'm cool, I guess with it. It just makes me kinda mad/upset sometimes that I literally can't have what Carla has. I almost definitely have someone out there, that looks just like me. I probably have sisters or brothers, that I'll never know. That look like me. That's why I get kinda weirded out by siblings looking like eachother, haha. Nobody that I know...looks like me. It's just kinda crazy, ya know? Imagine if you didn't know a dang thing about who gave birth to you. Except that she was too poor to keep you, and her full name. It was a closed adoption, which basically just means she doesn't want anything to do with me. Her name's Graciella Naomi Cepedes Palacio, (my middle name's Graciella). Btw, if you've ever seen my parents, you've probably noticed that they're pretty old...haha. My mom's 58, and my dad's 57. Yeah, be shocked :P. When you're adopting, you can be that's what happened.

I feel like this was way way too long, and personal, haha. But ohwhile, it's on my mind, and I feel like I needed to just let it all out. So I did. This is probably gonna change the way whoever reads this looks at me, but's real. It's me.

Kaybye. I love you, (:

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